Oh, pardon me. I just got a little carried away.
So, the wife walks in the door and I say,
"Honey, now that is a beautiful dress.
Who shot the couch?" Oh, my God.
Get me my drink, babe.
No, really, then there's my mother-in-law, who's more commonly known as the "witch."
My mother-in-law's in the hospital...
My wife, or as I lovingly call her, "Shut up."
I don't think she needs a plastic surgeon.
She needs a wrecking ball! Ba-dum. Out of here!
Okay.
I got you that time. No, but really,
you know, we're in love.
Now, am I interrupting the Zuber funeral or what?
At this point in the show, ladies and gentlemen,
and I use that term quite loosely... ladies and gentlemen...
Psst. Pardon me. Uh...
Excuse me. Okay, yeah, sure.
Gentlemen, I've got to announce that, in fact,
there's been a slight change in the program because...
I don't know... now... it's a raid!
Who wants to be frisked first?
Have you been a bad boy? Oh, yeah.
I've been real bad.
Then get ready to take your punishment like a man.
Oh, yes.
Now this is my kind of cop.
Baby, baby.
Oh,si. Very nice.
You've got the look Vega likes.
I'm all yours now. Yes, you certainly are.
And now what? And now... this!
Hey, watch it! What's going on? Shoot her, you idiots!
Back off! Anybody breathes and he bites it.
- She's a damn cop! - Wrong.
Bounty hunter?
D.E.A.! Lay down your weapons!
Come on! Stay down.
Reagan, what are you doing here?
- Doing just fine without you. - Right.
No. No, Kendall, no!
Damn it.
Don't shoot.
Okay, now down on the ground. Everybody, on your knees!
Looks like Vega won't be dancing anymore.
Damn.
What do you care? He's worth the same to you, dead or alive.
He can't testify against his friends if he's dead.
So, uh, who's next on your list?
- I'm taking a vacation. - When was the last time you took a vacation?
Would you believe 250 years ago?
He is Duncan MacLeod,
the Highlander.
Born in 1592, in the Highlands of Scotland,
and he is still alive.
He is immortal.
For 400 years, he's been a warrior,
a lover,
a wanderer,
constantly facing other Immortals in combat to the death.
The winner takes his enemy's head...
and with it, his power.
I am a Watcher,
part of a secret society of men and women...
who observe and record, but never interfere.
We know the truth about Immortals.
In the end, there can be only one.
May it be Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander.
Here we are
Born to be kings
We're the princes of the universe
I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of your world
Well, of course I'm having a great time.
Yeah, I've been in town only for four hours and already gained 20 pounds.
There you go.
And you were right, MacLeod.
There's always something new to see in Paris.
What? No, no, no, I'm fine.
Sell it to me, baby.
Don't make me beg for it.
Come on. Okay.
Clench it. Clench it.
Perfect. That's perfect.
Stronger. Sweet. I love it.
Beautiful.
Okay.
Back to work.
What? He's seen you. You've seen them.
Show's over.
Let's concentrate. Let's do it again. Okay.
Big smile, Murph.
That's my boy.
Get that camera. She took my picture.
Uh, 6:00 it is.
You still living in that garbage scow of yours?
This doesn't work.
Just tell me what to do. It has nothing to do with you, sweetheart.
It's the sun, those trees, everything. It's just not right.
We'll have to do it again. All of it?
When that ad agency sees you for the first time, they've gotta say, "This is the guy."
Okay? So, now you trust me, sweetheart. We'll do it again.
And you start with the blue thing, okay? All right.
All right.
Um, 6:00 it is.
Get the hell out of here!
Gotta go.
No!
Where's the picture?
Answer the question.
You know what happened to Vega.
He didn't deliver.
He won't be making any more deliveries.
Now, do you remember the question,
Chuck?
And the answer?
We'll find it. Whatever it takes.
Don't disappoint me.
I was in that caf? over there.
And when I came out, she was... she was dead.
Are you okay?
She was helping me put together a portfolio for this huge campaign.
Sounds like it was important to you. I never had a shot like this.
At first I thought she was just putting me on, just to...
But we never, you know... Yeah.
If only I'd been with her instead of in that stupid van changing my clothes...
Then maybe you'd be dead too.
Come on. Get dressed. I'll give you a ride home.
The police took my van with all my clothes. Damn it!
It's all right. Come on.
Come on.
My grandfather was a miner. My father was a miner.
So I did that for a while while I was at school.
I just couldn't take it.
After I flunked out of school, well, it was either construction or the army.
When I first met Celine, I was 20 foot up on a scaffold.
She said I had something.
Well, she was right.
I'm sorry. Do you want something to drink?
Uh, how 'bout a beer?
Ah, my mum says, "Alcohol rots the soul."
Uh, coffee then. Sorry.
I do have some lovely jasmine tea, though. Hold me back.
Well, home sweet home and all that.
Nice place.
Yeah, right.
I'm not much of a decorator.
Hands in the air.
You've got lousy taste in roommates.
Shut up. They want... the film.
What film? That's what I said.
Said we didn't have any bloody film. Broken record.
Maybe your girlfriend will be more... cooperative.
Never hurts to ask.
Don't touch her!
You okay?
Who are you?
What do you want from me? The name is Reagan Cole, for the second time today.
And one of them went after Reagan.
I tried to stop him, and that's when the other fellow hit me.
Everybody happy?
It always happens when I skip breakfast.
Mum always used to say, "Cherry bark is a natural digestive."
So, um, what's Interpol doing here?
What's the connection between the murder and the break-in?
Connection?
The film, the camera. Hello.
There isn't any.
And I suppose you just happened to be in the neighborhood, right?
You know, it's always nice to liaison with the locals when you can.
Must be Mum.
Well, that's that.
Well, there you go. Thanks for everything.
Well, that's it? That's all for now.
Grateful for the cooperation, et cetera, et cetera.
What's the matter?
"Just happened to be in the neighborhood."
Come on. I mean, what is it with that film?
Why is Interpol sticking their nose in?
And why do I get the feeling like my vacation just got trashed?
Thank you very much.
What? Don't turn around.
Looking for me?
It's all right.
I'm not used to having a woman do my fighting for me. Tell you what.
Next time, it's your turn.
They're cops.
Oopsie.
They're playing our song. Come on.
Nice of you to drop by, but dinner was four hours ago.
I'm sorry.
Um, Murph, this is Duncan MacLeod,
the wonderful, handsome, generous man I've told you about.
It's a little early for snow. Hi.
Hi.
What's going on? We need a place to crash tonight.
So you chose my place. I'm flattered.
Well, Reagan can't go back to her hotel because she just conked a couple of cops.
And she already shot one guy at my flat, and the other guy's still alive. He might come back.
See, it's simple, really.
So, what's going on, really?
These.
Well, um, you always did have a knack of getting in trouble with men in shorts.
Good job. Thank you.
Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
Countess Ludmilla Albertina Katushka von Tcheka of Hungary.
That is an exotic sounding name.
Did you say exotic or erotic?
Whatever the lady desires.
Ah, such a noble beast.
How I do appreciate the feeling...
of a powerful stallion beneath my loins.
Aye, and one that likes to be ridden long and hard?
Oh, these petticoats. You women.
I wonder if you're a man who appreciates variety.
I like to think so.
What did you have in mind?
A little... game.
There. My little stallion...
is all tied up.
Do they have to be this tight? Oh, yes.
Can't have you running away now, can I?
There's no chance of that.
Now what? And now...
the game is over.
What?
What are you doing?
Oh, no. There's your man. Seize him.
What's this about? Treason, and a £1,000 reward.
- I'm no traitor. -Only to the duke's marriage.
He will not have his wife dallied with.
Oh, that's what this is about.
That's what this is all about? Just because he diddled a duke's wife?
Silence. You've been well paid.
But the punishment then, surely not death?
My orders are the same.
A private beheading at the duke's country palace.
God, no. I'll wager you're no countess either.
Don't even think about it.
This way, boy.
Easy, now! Easy! Easy!
So these are the duke's finest? Ha!
- Ha. - I thought...
you'd be happy to see me.
You're a mad woman!
First you seduce me. Then you betray me.
And now you rescue me.
All part of a day's work. I almost lost my head because of you.
And because of me you didn't.
So I'd say we're even.
There. I knew you had a forgiving soul.
Now,
if I could only recall...
when last we were engaged.
Perhaps I could refresh your memory. Yeah.
Now I believe we're even.
Duncan, untie me.
MacLeod, you can't leave me here!
It might help if I knew what we were looking for.
I don't know. Something worth killing for.
Or someone.
They're not my best.
Wait.
What is it?
I've seen this guy before.
Where?
You might be interested in this.
- Reagan Cole. - You know her?
She's a bounty hunter. She almost got in my way when I hit Vega.
- Who's the guy? - A nobody.
A male model from London.
I bet she has the film, and they've both seen it.
- What about the police? - All she's after is the money.
If the police take me, she gets nothing.
You want us to stake out in front of her hotel and the guy's apartment?
No, she'd never go back there. She's too smart.
We'll just have to be smarter.
Went underground 15 years ago.
Hasn't been seen since.
Did he really kill 300 people in that plane he blew?
He was in Miami last week.
He killed the guy I was bringing in.
Oh, man. I should have recognized him. I thought he was dead.
So did the rest of the world.
"42 suspected assassinations.
Never arrested."
Oh, this is interesting. What?
The price on his head... one million.
Yeah, but who's he here to kill?
Here we go, decaf.
And, um, for you, my lady,
decaf with sugar.
Decaf? You're kidding. You're welcome.
After a night on the futon from hell, I need all the caffeine I can get.
Ah, now caffeine... I know, I know.
Here we go. What?
Looks like a cop. Walks like a cop.
Yep, it's a cop.
Interpol.
Duncan MacLeod.
Your turn.
Rowan Mitchell, Interpol. Well, you got any I.D.?
Can't be too careful these days. Of course.
I'm afraid the dry cleaners did a number on it, but if you squint...
you can just make out my name.
You gotta be kidding. I don't joke.
Oh. When I was a young man, I used to make up limericks.
You care to hear one? There once was a young man with a film roll...
who befriended a lass named Cole... Reagan Cole.
You wouldn't happen to know anybody named Reagan Cole, would you, Mr. MacLeod?
Who?
I have a log of calls she placed on her cell phone yesterday. One of them was to this address.
Doesn't ring a bell. No pun intended.
I always wondered what one of these looked like inside.
Keep wondering.
Have it your own way, Mr. MacLeod. We can do it here,
or we can do it down at my office.
Good idea. I'll buy you lunch.
Okay. Whoa.
I think this is yours. Oh, thank you very much.
You should get some steps there, you know.
Mm. Help yourself.
Mind if I ask you a personal question? How personal?
Well, I was just wondering...
I know I'm not the smartest guy around, and, well,
you probably know loads of guys from university and stuff, but...
it's just that... well, I was thinking...
well, I just thought that...
maybe you and I, we could...
you know, we could...
Yes! Yes?
Hang on.
"The eyes of the world will be on France tonight...
as foreign ministers gather in Paris for a forum on European unity."
So?
For Kendall to be in Paris after popping someone last week,
it would have to be something important...
something that would bring him millions.
Look, tell me what to do.
Been to the Louvre lately? Perfect place to lose yourself for an afternoon.
I just want to help.
I know, and I appreciate it.
Meet me back here at 2:00. What about Kendall?
He's mine.
Yes?
Dr. Bellows?
I'm sorry, but your security tag has expired.
But I'm already cleared. Well, you'll have to reapply.
And I'm supposed to do that in time for the conference? Hey.
I don't make the rules. What a load of crap!
And you told me you were on vacation.
Misplaced your hotel?
Just happen to be in the neighborhood again? Yes, and no.
But then again, that's me. I don't always do what I say.
I don't always mean what I think. A walking conundrum.
Do you ever have a straight answer?
Good heavens, no. Everybody's got an agenda.
- Like Kendall? - Like you.
You don't know anything about me.
Bounty hunters and mercenaries, fringe dwellers.
Usually damaged goods. Yeah, whatever.
Kendall is mine. The million is mine, period.
Semicolon.
Kendall will be in custody or dead within hours.
He's been running you guys in circles for the past 15 years.
What's that? It could be two things.
It could be your airline ticket back to the States,
or it could be a warrant for your arrest.
Duncan, he's half an hour late already.
I thought he might have screwed up and gone to the barge.
His... His apartment?
No, he wouldn't be that stupid.
Okay, maybe you're right. Later.
Oh, no. Please, no.
Oh, no.
Murphy! Murphy!
Get out of the apartment! Get out!
- Get out!
I told him not to come here.
What was he thinking? Why did he do it?
Well, if it's any consolation, we got the shooter.
What's that? That's Murph's beeper.
That is the last person to talk to Murph alive.
It's the number of an agent Celine set him up with.
How do you know that? I just found it.
What did she say he needed, huh?
A picture? A r?sum
You son of a bitch! No!
She's through now.
I think Freud would have something to say about misdirected aggression,
but we'll set that aside for now, shall we?
You used him as bait.
If I was that much of a bastard, I'd have been a commissioner a long time ago.
We had a tap on his phone.
You go to hell. Most likely.
But in the meantime, you've got an airline ticket with your name on it.
And an armed escort.
Look, fine. You be stupid.
But I'm last one who's seen Kendall alive for the last 15 years.
The way he looks now... you put me on a plane, and you're blind.
Dr. Bellows? Yes?
- I hope I didn't startle you.
No!
We've been over the place a dozen times.
I don't know what it is you expect to find.
It's what I don't expect to find.
S'il vous plait, monsieur.
I'm sorry. It must have been the oxygen tank that set it off.
Yes, thank you.
See, nobody gets in without a security tag.
That really stopped me.
- Who's that? -Dr. Martin Bellows.
Dr. Bellows?
What is she doing?
Look, Inspector, this guy's a terrorist. He blows things up.
Cole, you're not gonna find anything.
We've been through this place a dozen times.
Bomb squads, metal detectors, you name it.
There's no need for paranoia. It's clean.
Clean, huh? You willing to bet your life on it?
All of those have been checked? Yeah.
You're wasting your time. The dogs have already been through the room.
Okay?
This? I don't know.
Got to be ready for every eventuality.
There's no oxygen. Even though it's heavy enough to be full.
Oh, I knew it.
How the hell could they have missed a bomb?
Probably a nerve toxin. Set to go off in two hours.
Right in the middle of the meeting. Yep.
Ooh, wow. Walk that very carefully out of the chââteau.
And you? I think I need a doctor.
I feel a major pain in the ass coming on.
And if I may be of assistance at any time.
His name was Murphy.
Brian Murphy.
Who?
The young man you had killed.
Ah.
Oh, uh, we found your cannister.
I'm walking out of here.
In two minutes, a helicopter will land.
You will allow me safe passage.
- I'd allow you to kiss my butt.
What's to stop me from blowing you away right now?
I might ask you the same question.
I suppose a bullet through that sick, twisted brain of yours would stop you.
Afraid not. If my heart stops beating,
the bomb explodes.
Looks like you thought of everything... everything except the fact...
that if I put one through your brain, you heart's gonna stop in exactly four seconds.
- No!
Pity.
Here's to a million dollars. Too bad you're not here to collect it.
Win some, lose some.
Murphy, on the other hand, lost a lot more.
So, what's next?
For me?
I don't know. Probably the usual.
Lay low for a while, and then come back with a new identity.
New identity, but the same game? I'm a big girl.
I can take it.
Besides, it's not like I have much choice.
Oh, sure you do.
Can a doctor turn his back on a dying patient?
I don't think it's the same thing.
Yes, it is, Duncan.
Look around. The Kendalls out there are like a cancer.
And if it wasn't for me, the world would be...
a hell of a lot sicker than it already is.
Besides, I'm good at it.
Ohhh, a lovely night...
and a starry sky...
and a handsome stallion.
I wonder what the Countess Ludmilla Albertina Katushka von Tcheka would do?
Well, here. Let me show you.
And here we are
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong fighting for survival
We've come to be the rulers of your world
I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of your world
Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc. Los Angeles